


What More?

by euphoriastouch



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin-centric, Dong Sicheng - Freeform, Established Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, First Love, Fluff and Angst, JOHNNY SUH - Freeform, M/M, Mentioned WayV Ensemble, Minor Character Death, Nakamoto Yuta - Freeform, Nakamoto Yuta is Whipped, Nakamoto Yuta-centric, Roommates, Sad Dong Si Cheng | WinWin, Suggestive Themes, WayV - Freeform, goes from angst to fluff to angst, im sorry, jung jaehyun - Freeform, mark lee - Freeform, winwin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 06:42:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21471715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphoriastouch/pseuds/euphoriastouch
Summary: No one was supposed to get hurt. No one was supposed to fall out of love. It was meant to last forever, the two of them.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Kudos: 20





	What More?

**Author's Note:**

> hi! im back! this one is a bit longer and i hope you enjoy it! let me know how you liked it!

No one was supposed to get hurt. No one was supposed to fall out of love. It was meant to last forever, the two of them. 

Sicheng never thought that him and the love of his life would end the way they did. They made a promise to spend all of eternity together and now they wished they never would have met at all.

Yuta sat on the couch in their shared apartment of two years with his head in his knees trying not to sob out loud. 

There was broken glass all around the apartment with only slight remnants of the happier life they lived. 

Sicheng stood over Yuta with his own tears streaming down his face with his fists at his side, not knowing how they ended up here.

“Please, Sicheng… I can’t do this anymore.” Yuta finally looked up, still shaking and tears cascading down his face.

“Yuta, stop. Don’t say that. We have gotten through so much in our time together, we can do this too.” Sicheng pleaded as he got on his knees in front of the older and went to take his hands into his own.

“HOW?!” Yuta yelled standing up on wobbly legs surprising Sicheng who fell backwards onto a pile of glass. He didn’t even feel the glass in his skin as his heart was racing a mile a minute.

Sicheng felt paralyzed at his words and did start to wonder how they could get past this.

*Three Years Ago*

Being a college freshman is all fun and games until you’re in a new country, learning a new language, and have no idea on what the hell you want to do when you’re a real adult. 

Yuta was just an eighteen year old kid from Japan getting ready to study in America at New York University because his soccer scholarship allowed him to branch out and go somewhere where he never thought he could make it. But here he was in his single dorm room staring at the doorknob wondering if he should go out or not.

He barely spoke English and having to go out meant conversing with people who weren’t guaranteed to speak Japanese, and that just meant more stress he didn’t need. He opted to just stay in bed and call his family.

Just before he was about to finish his phone call with his mother he heard a soft knock on his door. He took the phone away from his ear in confusion, “Let me call you later Mom, someone is at my door.” He said in a hushed tone.

Yuta walked to the door slowly before opening the door a little, “Hello?” He said softly.

H opened the door more to reveal a boy that looked his age and just as lost as he did. He had suitcases all around him, “Um… hello. I’m Sicheng. I think we are roommates.” He said in a voice that Yuta could barely hear but he was sure he heard an accent.

Yuta started to panic at the word “roommate” and had no idea how he was going to tell this kid he wasn’t his roommate. 

“We aren’t roommates… this is my room only.” Yuta said hastily not wanting this conversation to drag out more. He shut the door in Sicheng’s face and started to panic. He had no clue what to do now.

Sicheng stood on the opposite end of the door just as confused and a little pissed from the door being shut in his face. 

Little did they both know but Sicheng was in the same boat as Yuta. He was here on a dance scholarship for dance all the way from China and didn’t know much English either.

He left his suitcases in front of the door and ran to go find the RA to fix this immediately.

*Two Months Later*

It was safe to say that Sicheng and Yuta were indeed roommates. Someone along the way botched the paperwork for the boys and they had no choice but to share the single room. The most the school did for them was give them a larger bed instead of the normal twin because two beds were not fitting in that room.

Despite their rough start both boys became attached at the hip. Sicheng taught Yuta whatever English he knew and promised to teach him Mandarin. And Yuta did the same, he taught the younger whatever English he needed to learn and continued to teach him Japanese.

In just those two months they could hold a conversation in all three languages. Well, to themselves at least. Being from different parts of the world still made the two hesitant to go out much but it didn’t take long for the two of them to feel so close.

“Wait… you mean someone actually gave you the name “Winwin” in class?” Yuta said laughing as they sat in bed watching anime on Yuta’s laptop.

“Yeah, this kid turned around and decided “Sicheng” was too hard to pronounce because he was too ignorant to learn. He said, “Bro, I think I’m going to call you Winwin.” And I swear I lost a part of my brain.” He said holding back his laughter as he tried to imitate his classmate’s voice.

“That’s it. I’m only going to call you Winwin from now on. It’s perfect. Amazing. Wow.” 

“Hey! Don’t be mean, I can never go to that class. That stupid boy will have everyone calling me Winwin.” He pouted and leaned on Yuta’s shoulder to whine.

Yuta looked at the way Sicheng’s lips came to a pout and felt his heart start to beat quicker than before. 

Then when he leaned against Yuta, he felt warmth spread throughout his whole body and his heart now felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

Yuta fully acknowledged at this point he may already have a crush on the boy sitting next to him. It was hard not to, they spent almost every waking moment together, the only time they were apart was when Sicheng had rehearsals and Yuta had practice.

Not only that, they got to learn so much about each other and both boys put a giant amount of trust in each other. Sicheng would even clear his own schedule to make sure he could go to Yuta’s games to support him.

Yuta also couldn’t not acknowledge of the beauty Sicheng was. And sleeping in the same bed in a small room didn’t help out at all. But for the sake of his friendship and bond with the boy he never thought about making a move or confessing.

*Three months later*

The first semester at New York University was beginning to wrap up, as well as the boys’ motivation to do any classwork.

It took almost forty-five minutes to convince Yuta to get out of bed because if he didn’t he’d miss his final exam prep and miss the last soccer practice of the season.

The next day it took Yuta an hour to calm down the sobbing boy in his arms from the pressure of the winter showcase as the lead dancer. 

“I-I just can’t, Yuta. I can’t focus on just dance because I will lose my scholarship but I can’t just focus on my exams because I will lose my skill.” He hiccuped with his head pressed against Yuta’s chest. 

Yuta just held him closer and rubbed his back soothingly while whispering words of encouragement. And for the first time Sicheng felt like he was okay. Here in Yuta’s arms he didn’t feel like he needed to stress or worry about trivial things like exams.

Sicheng would be lying if he said he didn’t feel anything for the boy wrapping him up. Yuta was the first comforting face he saw in America that didn’t make him want to cry. He listened to Sicheng even when he didn’t fully understand him, he held him, praised him, and made him feel whole.

His smile was enough to take away any ache, and not to forget all of the times Yuta has shown up at his rehearsals with food and drinks just to let him know he is rooting for him. Yuta was perfect, but he wouldn’t dare tell him how he felt in case he ruined the friendship.

This all changed though on the day of Sicheng’s winter showcase. He was about to go on stage when he saw Yuta squeezing into a chair with an obnoxiously large sign that said, “THAT’S MY WINWIN” written in red glitter with a picture of him in a front flip next to it. Sicheng blushed furiously and wanted nothing more than to run out and hug him.

The lights dimmed and Sicheng took center stage, as always he gave a stellar performance. His body moved like the trees in the wind, he was effortless and breathtaking. He had a way of engulfing the audience into his performances, especially Yuta; who was sitting with his mouth wide open and clapped so hard his hands started to hurt.

Sicheng looked directly into the older’s eyes even in the dark crowd and smiled so bright that Yuta swore lit up the stage.

Yuta immediately got out of his seat to go find the boy backstage. In that moment the only thought in his head was “I’m going to confess to Sicheng.”

Sicheng ran off the stage like a mad man in order to find Yuta. Tonight was the night, he was going to tell Yuta he liked him.

Both boys were running towards each other with smiles on their faces and stopped when they were face to face. They both were out of breath and they felt like the only people backstage. The smiles they had could be seen from miles away and they opened their mouths the the same time.

“Please be mine.” 

The words that started it all. Yuta and Sicheng said those magic words and they both looked at each other with shock and adoration. Yuta smiled when he heard Sicheng ask in Japanese and Sicheng’s heart fluttered when he heard Yuta ask him in Chinese.

“Oh my God, Yuta. Yes. I have waited so long to tell yo-” He was cut off by Yuta’s hands cupping his soft cheeks that were still slightly sweaty and felt a pair of lips on his. The sign Yuta made was at their feet and Sicheng felt his own hands wrap around Yuta’s slim waist.

Both boys have never had their first kiss before but this just felt right. It was a little awkward at first but they found their rhythm soon enough and after a few moments they pulled apart still breathless. 

“Do you wanna go back to the dorm after all of this and watch movies?” Yuta asked still cupping Sicheng’s cheeks.

Sicheng nodded quickly before he was called back to where the other dancers were. 

They shared their second kiss and Yuta walked back to the audience with a new found confidence and a boyfriend.

*Five Months Later*

Their first year at college was about to wrap up and it was bittersweet for Sicheng and Yuta. The exams were about to be finished and that meant no more having to stress over classes. But it also meant they would have to leave the friend group they formed behind for a few months, not to mention both boys were going back to their home countries.

“Are you sure I can’t just curl up in your suitcase and come with you to Japan?” Sicheng pouted trying to sit in Yuta’s suitcase.

“Babe, we talked about this, I don’t want to have to explain to customs why I have a man in my bag. Also, if you were coming to Japan with me I’d make sure to get you a ticket, not just a place in my bag.” He laughed pulling Sicheng up from his carry on.

“But still, this is the first time we’ve really been apart from each other. I haven’t not shared a bed with you in months and I have no clue how I am going to sleep without you.”

Yuta huffed and walked over to the younger and lightly picked him up so he could throw him on the bed. He lied him down and swung his leg over so he was sitting in his lap.

“For the millionth time, baby, we are going to be okay. And I already have a job coaching the younger kids at my old school for soccer, so who knows? I might save up a lot of money and fly to China to come see you for a vacation.”

Sicheng’s eyes got big at the words “China” and “vacation” and he started to nod quickly.

“That would be so cool oh my God. I could show you all around. My mother hasn’t stopped bothering me since she found out about us and I’m sure she’d be dying to meet you.”

“Well then I guess we have to that then.” He flashed Sicheng his healing smile and bent down to press his lips on the other’s. They intertwined hands as they kissed and time became nothing but a concept to the them.

Yuta broke their hands apart and put them under Sicheng’s shirt and started to play with the younger’s already sensitive nipples. Sicheng was about to let out a moan before their room door was being swung open.

“GUYS! They’re having free tacos in the cafe- HOLY SHIT!” Their friend Johnny said not realizing what was about to happen.

Yuta angrily sat up, “You know, Johnny, if it wasn’t for you I could have gotten laid at least twenty more times than I already have.” Sicheng just giggled and sat up wrapping his arms around Yuta’s waist. 

“I want free tacos!” Sicheng said and sprung out of their bed and threw his shoes on, he made grabby hands at Yuta, “Don’t be a big baby! It’s free tacos!” 

Yuta sighed and took his hand before lightly punching Johnny in the chest.

Their other friends Mark and Jaehyun were already sitting on a bench outside of their building and Jaehyun smirked at Sicheng’s still messy hair from a few minutes ago. 

“Jokes on you, Mark. I told you Johnny was going to walk in on them, you owe me ten dollars.” 

Yuta rolled his eyes and laughed at Mark’s angry expression, “If I had a dollar every time you bet on our sex lives I would have more money than you.” 

“Hey it isn’t our fault you guys stay huddled away just to screw.” Johnny pushed Yuta lightly.

“I have a fun idea, how about we stop talking about mine and Yuta’s sex life when we can talk about Mark still being a virgin.” 

“Hey! I will have you know I got very close to losing it last month but my mom called and ruined the whole atmosphere.” The five of them laughed and they all walked towards the cafeteria together.

That was how they spent the last few weeks of the semester together, laughing, eating, staying up late watching movies in Yuta and Sicheng’s small room all huddled in blankets. 

On the last day the boys were all saying goodbye to each other and all hugged and promised to bother each other all summer. 

Yuta and Sicheng packed up the rest of their room and took the same cab to the airport. The air was a little heavy with the two boys being nervous to say goodbye and being scared if anything would happen to them this summer. 

The only thing Sicheng could focus on thought was Yuta’s hand wrapped around his rubbing small circles into the skin with the pad of his thumb.

Sicheng hummed softly and leaned his head into Yuta’s shoulder, where Yuta just smiled and kissed the top of his head.

The remainder of the ride was ridden in silence, and they didn’t even speak until they had to separate to get on their flights.

“Sicheng… Please don’t be sad. I will try my hardest to come see you this summer. And its only three months then before you know it we will back at school in our own apartment.” Sicheng nodded and buried his head in his chest before stifling.

Yuta rubbed his back soothingly and felt his own tears prick at the corner of his eyes. Throughout this past year he has felt more feelings than he ever did in his entire life. He truly loved the younger boy.

“Sicheng…” The older said tearing them apart for a moment. 

“I … I love you. So much.”

Sicheng felt his heart soar and he really started to cry.

“Oh, Yuta. I love you, too.” And they kissed until they had no choice but to leave for their flights. 

*Three Months Later*

It was the end of July and the heat in both China and Japan was starting to get to the boys.

Sicheng spent his summer helping out his grandmother in their small restaurant and catching up with old friends. But now he was contemplating sitting in the store’s freezer just to stop him from sweating. Just a few more hours and he could take the coldest shower he has ever taken.

Despite the current heat, it was nice to get back into the swing of living in China and he admitted he loved being back. He got to see his mother every day, had a hot home cooked meal all of the time, and got to see things he wouldn’t get to see back in New York.

On top of being happily home, he spoke to Yuta every day. Even though they haven’t seen each other in those two months it was like they never separated. They kept each other updated with every little detail so it felt like they were still together.

Sicheng told Yuta all about his grandmother’s restaurant, how he almost gave his sister stitches for the fight they had which resulting in the throwing of belongings, and how his mom cooked each delicious dish he ate.

Yuta was grateful for the younger’s presence in his life, this summer would have sucked without him. 

Both boys never mentioned Yuta flying to China after their last conversation about it, but Yuta thought about it everyday. He spent each morning and afternoon coaching children in the blazing heat and spent his evenings cleaning up in his favorite cafe just to earn extra cash. 

He didn’t tell Sicheng, but he has been in contact with Sicheng’s mom and he is spending the last two weeks of August in China with him and his family. The plan was to spend the last week of August with him so they could just leave for America together to go back to school.

Sicheng would tell Yuta that he missed him every day and Yuta would just have to bite his tongue and not spoil the surprise.

Yuta told Sicheng all about the children he coached, how his own mother begged to see the boy he was dating, and how Okaska would be even more beautiful with him here.

It is easy to say that both boys had absolutely nothing to worry about a few months prior when they had to leave each other.

*One Month Later*

Today is the day. 

Yuta would finally get to see Sicheng’s smile for the first time in person since they left. He packed up all of his suitcases and said his goodbye to his family and was bouncing the whole cab ride to the airport. 

Even on the airplane he couldn’t sit still or stay calm, he wanted nothing more than to just text the younger “I’M ON MY WAY TO YOU!!” but he knew he had to stay calm.

Once he got out of the taxi near his house he called Sicheng “Hi my love, just wanted to see what you were up to today.”

Sicheng felt his heart pound at the pet name, “Nothing much, babe. I have off at the restaurant today and was just going to lounge around. I already started to pack for school.”

Yuta felt himself grow more nervous with each step and stuttered, “W-well how would you like to go out with me today?” He turned and was waiting in front of Sicheng’s door.

“What do you mean, Yuta?” Sicheng felt himself grow more nervous and started to bite his lip.

“I think you should just come to the front door.” And Sicheng followed, he opened the door and dropped his phone and didn’t even hesitate before he jumped into the older’s arms.  
“Oh my God! What the FUCK?! How did you get here? There’s no way! Oh my god you’re HERE.” He said taking pauses in between each sentence to kiss his lips.

Yuta held onto Sicheng’s waist tightly and just rocked them side to side, “Yes yes yes, I’m here. I wanted to surprise you and I’ve been talking to your mom about setting this up. I’m going to be spending the next two weeks here then we’re going to fly to America together.”

It was then Sicheng looked behind them and saw Yuta’s suitcases and let out a scream of excitement.

He jumped down from Yuta’s hold and kissed him like he has been desperate to the last few months. 

“Well come on!” He said going to take some of Yuta’s bags and brought them inside the house.

Yuta smiled and took the rest and walked into the house shutting the door behind them.

Yuta was greeted by Sicheng’s mom and he was thankful the youngest taught him Chinese so he could be able to talk to his family.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Sicheng has told me so much about you and it’s important to us that you’re here.” 

“Thank you for having me, this means a lot to me and I’m happy to be spending time with you all.”

Sicheng felt his heart race at the most important people in his life in one room and couldn’t believe this was real.

They talked a bit more before Sicheng led him to his bedroom and threw all of Yuta’s bags into a corner and jumped in his arms again and they both landed in his bed.

“You smell so good.” Yuta said nuzzing his nose in the younger’s neck and he could feel Sicheng giggle.

“I can’t believe you’re here. Like I feel like I just texted you goodnight and here you are! I’m so happy.”

It was Yuta’s turn to giggle and he rolled them over so they were cuddling like that.

The next two weeks were nothing but bliss and they felt like they never wanted this to end. They spent it just kissing, laughing, hanging out, and walking around showing Yuta his favorite places. Sicheng’s family treated Yuta as their own and it made him see so much better about everything. 

They talked to him as if he has been in the family for years and showed that they wanted nothing but their happiness. 

The two weeks were over too soon and they were already on their flight back to America. They sat on the plane with their hands intertwined and they were actually excited to go back and get into a routine. Now that they got moved up to having their own apartment, they were sharing it with Johnny, Jaehyun, and Mark. They were both relived they got to stick with the people they love instead of having to meet all new people.

Once they were back in New York they started to set up their apartment and unpack their belongings. They finally fell into bed at the end of the night and they cuddled up next to each other.

“You know…” Yuta started while turning on his side. 

Sicheng hummed and rolled over on his side too so they were face to face, “I really think we should have alone time before our luck runs out and Johnny busts through the door and ruins the moment.” 

Sicheng laughed and rolled over so he was sitting in the older’s lap. Sicheng can’t even remember the last time they had sex and he wanted nothing more to feel the older inside of him. He bent down and kissed his his lips and it didn’t even start off slow, it was immediately tongue and hands roaming all around each other’s body as if they had to remind themselves where everything was. 

They tore apart and Yuta looked up at the beautiful boy above him and tugged off his shirt before leaning up and taking one of Sicheng’s nipples in his mouth, already earning a whine from the younger. 

Sicheng pulled Yuta’s hair and they started to kiss even more passionately before. 

An hour later they laid side by side about to fall asleep still panting from minutes before they were both scared by a loud noise.

“JOHNNY’S HOME BABIES.” 

Yuta sighed, “I told you.” And they both laughed and held each other tighter.

*Six Months Later*

It was the beginning of February when the couple of over a year felt tension for the first time. 

It was supposed to be just a Friday night with the five of them gathered in their living room having fun, but Yuta had different plans.

Mark, Johnny, Jaehyun, and Sicheng were all sitting on the couch waiting for Yuta to join them before Yuta walked out of his and Sicheng’s room fully dressed.

“Ah shit, I forgot you were going out tonight.” Johnny said and Sicheng whipped his head around. 

“You’re going out tonight? Where?” He questioned. Yuta tells him everything and he felt a twinge of hurt that Yuta was missing movie night and didn’t tell him.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I’m going out with Jude from my writing class.” He said nonchalantly.

Sicheng was never the jealous type or felt insecure in his relationship with the older, but Yuta has heard him talk about Jude multiple times and even met him in person.

He completely trusted Yuta but he in no way shape or form trusted Jude. He knew full well that Yuta had a boyfriend, and even in front of Sicheng he was touchy with Yuta and made it clear he would fuck him if he could.

“Oh… Well have fun.” He said before he turned his head to the television.

Yuta didn’t know why he was acting that way and just walked out of the house.

Sicheng felt hurt and wanted to talk about Jude to Yuta but he didn’t want to seem overly jealous or possessive.

The four of them decided to watch one of the Spiderman movies and it wasn’t until they were twenty minutes in and Sicheng broke their silence, “So what do you guys know about this Jude guy?”

Jaehyun muttered a “here we go” under his breath the same time Mark spoke up, “Well we know you don’t like him.”

“Okay, well that isn’t what I was asking. I was asking what you knew of him as a person.” Sicheng said and Johnny paused the movie and turned to face Sicheng.

“I know he is in the same class as Yuta and I. We hang out pretty often before and after class, he’s trying out for the soccer team, and he’s pretty funny.” Johnny answered.

“Wait, Yuta hangs out with him a lot? And he wants to be on the soccer team?” 

“No, he hangs out with Yuta and I.” He said making sure to put emphasis on “I”. “I don’t even think they’ve ever hung out alone until now.” 

Sicheng sat there and felt even worse than he did before. He only thought they were casual friends and didn’t think they spent so much time together.

“Well why wouldn’t he tell me?”

Jaehyun spoke up, “Because, he probably genuinely just forgot to tell you. It’s just two friends hanging out grabbing dinner on campus.”

Sicheng just hummed and turn his head back to the screen waiting for Johnny to play the movie again.

The four of them watched two more movies and finished eating pizza when it was already two in the morning. Yuta still wasn’t home and Sicheng was starting to worry. Jaehyun and Mark went to their shared room a little after, and Jaehyun went to his own room. 

It was almost two-thirty before a loud knock was on the door. Sicheng sprang up and was met with Yuta slung over Jude’s shoulder, clearly drunk. 

“Oh. It’s you.” Jude said.

“Yeah, it is me. What the hell happened?”

“Ah nothing too crazy, had a few too many drinks and decided to call it quits. Just let me take him to his bedroom and I’ll be out of your hair.”

Sicheng couldn’t believe Jude just expected him to get out of way and let him into their bedroom as if he didn’t exist.

“That’s okay actually. I have a lot of my stuff around the room and don’t want you to see our mess.” He said with a hint of attitude and took Yuta’s own body and dragged him to the room closing the door in Jude’s face.

Yuta wreaked of alcohol but Sicheng could still smell a cologne that wasn’t his or Yuta’s on him and it made Sicheng turn red. 

He passively sat Yuta down on their toliet and washed him up before waking him up to get undressed.

“Jesus Christ, Yuta. How much did you have to drink?” He said as the older was barely responding to his touches before he sat upright and opened his eyes brightly.

“Oh it’s my little Winwin! Hi my love.” Yuta half yelled smiling brightly as if he just noticed Sicheng’s presence. Sicheng couldn’t stay annoyed at him and smiled back.

“Yes, my love. It is me, your Sichengie.” He found some of his previous worry start to vanish before Yuta opened his mouth again.

“Mmm, had a lot of fun with Jude tonight. ’S good to laugh with someone else.” Sicheng went silent and threw a clean shirt over his head before hastily taking him to their bed. 

Once Yuta was in bed Sicheng felt like he deserved to be petty and took his blanket and pillow to sleep on the couch.

In the morning the younger was woken up by Johnny sitting on the edge of the couch, “Is Yuta not home yet?” He said with a little worry in his voice.

Sicheng looked around for a moment and yawned, “No he’s fine, he’s in our room sleeping. He came home piss drunk at two thirty wrapped around Jude.”

“O-oh?”

“I highly doubt they did anything, he was just obliterated and Jude tried to act like he was doing Yuta a favor and said he would like to come in and put Yuta to bed. The nerve.”

“Okay, that is a little douchey, but maybe he didn’t mean it that way?” Johnny said leaning back throwing Sicheng’s legs in his lap.

“No, he definitely meant it like that. He literally opened the door and said “Oh its you” as if I wasn’t his boyfriend of over a year.”

“Jesus Christ, that is fucked. Maybe if you talk to Yuta he could try and remember things from last night.”

Sicheng remembered what he said last night and shook his head, “Yuta is the last person I want to speak to. I know he was drunk but he said that he was glad he went out with Jude because it felt good to laugh with someone else.” 

“Oh Sichengie, you should still talk to him. Clear the air a little.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” At the same time he spoke Yuta walked out of their room and immediately looked at Sicheng with an embarrassed expression.

“I think we should talk, Sicheng.”

Sicheng huffed and got up giving one last look to Johnny before looking back at Yuta.

“Yeah… we should.” 

*Two Months Later*

Two more fights about Jude and Jude proving yet again he wants to get in Yuta’s pants, Jude finally showed his true colors. 

Yuta came through the door of their apartment with a scowl on his face and slammed the door shut. Jaehyun and Sicheng were sitting at the kitchen counter and jumped at the noise.

“What’s wrong, love?” Sicheng asked worried.

“You were right. And I’m so sorry for not listening to you sooner.”

Jaehyun looked between the two boys, “What on earth are you talking about, Yuta?”

“Jude. Fucking Jude.” Sicheng felt his heart drop at the name and was about to open his mouth before Yuta continued, “We were in the library and out of nowhere he fucking leaned into me and took my face in his hands and tried to kiss me. That slimy little fuck.”

Sicheng was pissed, and anyone could tell he was furious. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I can’t believe the disrespect to not only me but to you! He knows we’re still together.”

“I want to fucking kill him.” Was all Sicheng could manage.

Yuta sighed and walked over to the barstool before pulling the chair out and sat in Sicheng’s lap.

“M really sorry for not seeing it sooner, I just thought it’d be good to have another friend.” 

Sicheng sighed and decided the only important thing right now was Yuta in his lap and kissed his head softly while humming.

Jaehyun cleared his throat, “Well, it is clearly my time to leave.” And walked to his room.

“Why don’t we go inside and I can mark you up to show fuckface that you’re only mine.” Sicheng offered playing with the hair on Yuta’s neck.

Yuta let out a low groan and hopped off his chair taking Sicheng to the room with him.

*Seven Months Later* 

Today was the day. Yuta and Sicheng were to celebrate their two year anniversary. The boys are turning twenty in a few days so they decided to have an anniversary and birthday party all in one. 

They were setting up and decorating the apartment with the other boys and they made sure everything was perfect.

They hung streamers from the ceiling, balloons littered the floor, Mark helped install lights around the house to flash as the party went on, Johnny bought all of the alcohol they needed, and Jaehyun ordered catering from the two boy’s favorite restaurants. And as a main gift, the three of them pitched in to buy the boys a large picture frame with over thirty photos of the couple.

It was an amazing day so far and it was only the beginning. It was reaching evening when the boys finally finished decorating and all of the food and drinks were bought. The five of them had a few hours until people from their classes were going to arrive so they decided to all take showers and get ready.

Sicheng was done before Yuta and waited for him on the couch in the living room. He was wearing a white turtleneck that clung to his body, black ripped skinny jeans, and swept his hair back so his whole forehead was exposed. He even made Jaehyun put eyeshadow on his lids to make them pop. 

Yuta walked out of the bedroom fully dressed and looked Sicheng up and down, “Holy shit, you look amazing. I think we’re going to have to miss our own party tonight.”

“Oh shut up.” He rolled his eyes and finally looked up from his phone to see Yuta standing there looking just as good. He had a red button up shirt on with the first few buttons undone, wore tight black pants, and swept his hair to one side so it fell over his eyes slightly.

“You’re one to talk, love.” Sicheng continued as he stood up to walk over to the older by only two days.

He put his hands on Yuta’s chest and kissed his lips softly.

“If I have to see you two in physical contact again I will gladly pour bleach into my eyes.” Mark said as he walked out of his room.

“Shut up, Mark. You’re just pissy you don’t have anyone to kiss. Maybe tonight you’ll get lucky.”

“Oh how original, Yuta. Ha ha ha.” He said in a deadpan voice and walked to Jaehyun’s room to get a different shirt.

“I would absolutely love for you to ravish me at the moment, but we spent too long getting ready and we should have guests coming at any moment now.” Sicheng said biting Yuta’s lip and slapping his ass.

“For once I’m not going going to address your sex advances and instead I’m going to make fun of you saying “our guests” as if we are having a dinner party.” Yuta laughed squeezing the younger’s cheeks and kissing his nose.

“You’re so mean to me.” He huffed and the doorbell rang.

“Look, our first guest.” Yuta laughed going to get the door. It was a few people from class and shortly after that a small crowd was formed their living room. Around eleven the final wave of people showed up and they really started to take advantage of their environment.

Everyone was dancing, singing, eating, and drinking, and both Yuta and Sicheng knew how grateful they were for everything and each other in that moment. 

After a few rounds of flip cup Sicheng took Yuta’s hand and led them on the balcony. 

“Thank you, Yuta.”

Yuta pushed a few strands of hair that fell over Sicheng’s eyes back, “For what, baby?”

“Just being here, and being mine. M just grateful for you, you made being here a lot less scary and helped me grow into someone amazing.” Sicheng said brining Yuta’s hand up to his cheek and nuzzling against it.

“You don’t have to thank me for that. I want to do that. You are my everything. My life would be so different and dull without you.” He replied bringing his other hand to rub Sicheng’s back.

“What if we didn’t get scholarships to come here? I’d still be in China and you’d be in Japan. We never would have met.” 

“I don’t think so… you’re my soulmate, Sicheng. We would have found each other no matter what, you’re always the light in my life. No matter what happens to us we will always come back stronger.”

“I am so in love with you, Yuta.”

“I am so in love with you too, my Sicheng.” Yuta replied taking both cheeks in his hand and kissed him softly.

They spent the rest of the party grabbing drinks and food and sitting on the balcony embraced in each other’s love. 

*Five Months Later*

It comes down to science. Everyone knows it's the law of gravity when we say what goes up must come down.

And Yuta and Sicheng had to come down eventually. It was science, and you can’t go against science.

A month after their first year anniversary Yuta was informed that his physics grade was too low for him to play soccer next semester, which meant no scholarship. 

He begged his professor to give him the month of winter break to give him at least a C- if he redid all of the work. The professor felt bad about his scholarship and decided to grant him his wish. 

Which is why Yuta spent the whole month of January in his room huddled over papers and physics textbooks.

Sicheng on the other hand had an amazing January and got to meet new members of the university’s dance team. He became close to a handful of them and spent most of his days in the studio working on new routines hanging out. 

The couple barely got to see each other, by the time Sicheng came home from rehearsals Yuta was asleep with his head in a textbook, and when Yuta woke up Sicheng was already on his way out to head to the studio.

It felt fine at first, couples get busy. This is college. They both knew they wouldn’t always get to be joined at the hip, especially with junior year approaching.

But after the first few weeks it started to take a toll on them. Yuta barely had time to call his mother anymore and wanted nothing more just to lay down with Sicheng on his chest.

“Do you really have to go to the studio today? Today is the first time in two and a half weeks I don’t have much work to do.”

“Yes, Yuta. I have to, Alex is depending on me to finish the choreography. I need to go.” Sicheng hurriedly said slipping his coat and boots on. “Just get ahead of the game and do more work so you can keep busy.” And with that he left the house.

Yuta huffed and slumped against the headboard of their bed. It felt so lonely now that their other three friends went home for the month.

He took Sicheng’s advice and started to do more work due next week to get ahead of the game, but after two hours he felt restless. 

He got dressed and decided he would go surprise Sicheng at the studio with coffee and food from their favorite cafe down the block.

He put his shoes on with a smile on his face and walked out excited knowing this was his first time going out to do something fun for the first time in weeks. 

Yuta stepped into the cafe with the smile still on his face and went up to the counter to place his order. Just as he was about to hand over the cash he heard a laugh that only belonged to one person, his boyfriend. He whipped his head around and saw Sicheng and Alex, and his stomach dropped. They were sitting at a high top table in the back away from everyone with smiles on their face.

He knew he couldn’t be mad at him because of the shit be put him through with Jude, and he didn’t even know why they were here. For all he knew they could’ve been on break and wanted to grab a bite to eat. 

But Yuta looked closer and saw that Sicheng didn’t even have his dance bag with him which means he didn’t go to the studio.

He felt his shock turn into sadness which soon turned to anger. He paid the cashier, waited for his order then walked over to where they were sitting.

Sicheng finally looked up as someone was walking towards them and his eyes grew three times the size upon seeing Yuta.

“Hey, baby. Funny seeing you here, I just came here to bring you drinks and food at the studio.” Yuta said trying to keep a cheerful tone in his voice and slid the shocked younger his coffee.

“Babe? I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” Alex said and Sicheng laughed nervously.

“O-oh yeah, this is my boyfriend, Yuta. Yuta, I’m sure you’ve seen Alex around and heard me talking about him.” 

Yuta felt himself get more hurt at the idea of Yuta not even being a thought to bring up to Alex, but yet Yuta had to sit down and hear all about Alex.

He threw the food carton down in front of Sicheng, “Well, I see that rehearsal is going well. I’ll see you later, Sicheng, I have to go home and catch up on some work.” He scoffed and walked out of the cafe feeling completely different from when he walked in.

Back home Yuta just laid in bed confused and waiting for Sicheng to come home. He heard his keys turning in the door knob and picked up a textbook to seem busy.

Sicheng was in the house for a second before he walked into the bedroom, “Yuta I can explain.”

“There isn’t anything to explain. You were out to lunch with Alex, doing choreography. And it’s really fine because you saved me the extra steps of walking to the studio.” He passively said not even looking towards Sicheng’s direction.

“Y-yeah but we decided to just go out and eat because I left my bag here and didn’t want to walk back and get it, so that’s why we didn’t get to practice.”

“It’s all good, just a little embarrassing considering Alex didn’t even know you had a boyfriend.”

“Yuta don’t do that.” Yuta’s head shot up and slammed his textbook shut.

“Do what? You’ve been getting close to this guy for what, a month? You failed to mention me but yet I hear about him and wonderful he is every night? Now if you excuse me, I’m getting ahead of the game.” He reopened the textbook and slumped further in the bed.

Yuta was fully aware he was being childish but his feelings were hurt and didn’t want to talk about it now.

After that day Alex wasn’t brought up again and things between them didn’t seem to fully resolve.

Four months after that Sicheng got a call from his mother on the balcony telling him that his grandmother had fallen ill and she doesn’t have much time left. 

His whole world stopped and he had to get off the phone with his mother before he broke down. His grandmother was the one who raised him since his mother worked two jobs, and treated him like a perfect angel.

He walked back into the apartment and looked at Yuta, “My grandmother… she’s going to die.”

Yuta shot his head up and immediately walked over to where Sicheng stood and brought him into his arms. 

“I’m so sorry, Sicheng. Is there anything we can do?” And for the first time in months this was the softest Yuta has spoken to the younger.

“Don’t think so… finals are coming. If I go to China right now I will miss them and fail all of my classes.”

“Fuck your classes. I can talk to your professors about letting you take them this week and I can help you pack and we’ll go to China together.”

Sicheng felt the tears in his eyes start to fall, “B-but what about your finals?”

“I don’t have any. Just online essays or presentations which I’ve already done.”

So Sicheng just nodded and Yuta was already on his way out to inform his professors. 

Sicheng couldn’t handle being alone so he went out to try and clear his head, which failed him in the end. Sicheng hast even looked Yuta in the eyes or spoken to him, he was shutting everyone out.

A week later they had their flights booked and were saying bye to their roommates.

Sicheng was getting more sad by the day and couldn’t even hold a conversation without crying. He couldn’t even look at their flight attendant without tears welling up.

“Try and rest your head on me and close your eyes. Staying awake and crying won’t help you, babe.”

“You don’t think I’ve tried that? Don’t think I have done literally everything to try and clear my head?” Sicheng snapped and turned to look into Yuta’s eyes.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that, I was jus-”

“Yeah, you were just saying, you’re always just saying.” He said unbuckling his seatbelt and walked to the bathroom in the back of the plane.

Yuta shifted in his seat and tried his best to not get his feelings hurt. He knew the younger was grieving and going through a hard time, but he was only trying to be a supportive boyfriend.

Twenty minutes later Sicheng walked back to his seat and didn’t even look at Yuta once while he fastened his seatbelt closed his eyes trying to get some peace.

Yuta reached over to grab his hand and rub it soothingly but Sicheng just pulled his hand away and crossed his arms. 

This would be a long week, Yuta thought to himself.

Once they arrived at his old house Sicheng kissed him mother quickly before dashing to his grandmother’s room.

“How does he seem, Yuta?” His mother asked quietly after greeting him.

“He… He is trying is best. We haven’t really talked much the last two weeks and he won’t even look at me. But I think now that he gets to see her he’ll be better.

She hummed and took Yuta’s hand, “Well thank you. You have always taken care of my Sicheng. Come, let me make you something.” 

He nodded his head, “Just let me go say hello to her and send my regards then I’ll come back out.”

He walked to Sicheng’s grandmothers room and his heart immediately broke. Sicheng was in the bed with her, holding her hand and using the other one to smooth her hair down. He was singing to her softly and he could see tears trailing down his face.

“Hi, love. I just came to say hello.”

Sicheng nodded but didn’t meet his gaze.

Yuta could tell that she was sleeping but sat down next to her bed careful of the monitor next to her bed. 

“Um… I’m not really the best at this but I’m sorry for the pain you must be feeling, Sicheng has talked about you almost everyday and I know you will always be his guardian angel. I’m sorry that you are in pain, I hope you never have to be in pain again.” He took her frail hand in his own and rubbed it soothingly.

“I’m going to go have tea with your mom and give you some time, if you need anything just let me know.” He whispered trying to get the other’s attention but he just nodded while blankly looking at the wall.

He walked back to the kitchen and was met with Sicheng’s sister. 

“Yuta! Sicheng didn’t say you were coming.” She said surprisingly and ran over to give him a hug.

“He hasn’t said much to anybody I guess, but being here was the least thing I could do.” She nodded and took his arm leading him to the table.

The three of them sat at the table together and all talked quietly over having some tea. 

“You don’t have to answer, Yuta… But were you guys fighting before this news? Over the phone Sicheng has seemed off the last month and he wouldn’t tell me what happened.”

Yuta opened his mouth to speak, “It’s none of your business, mom.” He was cut off by Sicheng entering the room.

“Son, you know I’m just worried about you…”

“Well don’t be, I’m fine. Nothing happened, it isn’t anyone’s business.”

He walked back to his own room and Yuta followed him. Once in his old room Sicheng sat on the bed with his head in his hands.

“Love… Your mom is only worried about you. We know this is a hard time for you.” He said delicately as he bent down in front of him rubbing his knees.

Sicheng scoffed and wiped Yuta’s hands off his knees. “Just go home, Yuta.” 

Yuta felt like he was just slapped across the face, “What are you talking about?”

“Just leave me alone. I don’t want to see you, or anyone for that matter.” He said standing up so he was towering over Yuta.

“How the fuck can I grieve or be angry or even cry in peace if you’re here! You follow me around like a lost puppy telling me the same stupid bullshit that everything is all okay and lovely. Well it’s fucking not. This is the real world, Yuta. Not everyone can just flash a smile and expect everything to be okay.”

Yuta’s bottom lip started to wobble, “I was just trying to help you… I thought you would want someone in your corner telling you it’s alright and you’ll make it through.”

“Pathetic. I don’t need anyone, and I don’t need you. The only person I need is my grandmother and she’s going to die any moment. So please, I’m fucking begging you, Yuta. Just go the fuck home.”

Yuta didn’t say anything else, he finally stood up off the ground and let his tears fall before he grabbed his suitcases and walked back into the living room. “I’m sorry to be doing this, but I have to go. Sicheng needs to be alone and I can’t be around him to do that.” He said trying not to let more tears fall. Before his mother could say anything else he walked out the door and hailed a cab.

He sat in the airport for three hours deciding what he should do and if he should just stay close to Sicheng in a hotel or something just in case he needed him. He shook his head and bought a plane ticket home. His real home in Japan. 

The whole flight Yuta cried and couldn’t get his boyfriend’s words out of his head. He hoped that he didn’t mean any of it, and just wanted him to feel safe. He still knew that a part of him couldn’t be mad at Sicheng, but the other part of him was hurt beyond belief. He gave up his last few weeks of soccer, exams, friends, and other responsibilities just to fly across the globe just to be kicked out.

After what seemed like forever and two cabs later, he finally stood at his own doorstep and knocked on the door softly.

“Who is i- Yuta?!” His mother exclaimed looking at her son. “What the hell are you doing here?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” 

Yuta finally looked up and he could see his mother’s expression change entirely. 

“Mama…” He said and started to cry again. His mother sighed and took her son into her arms for a moment just rocking him back and forth. 

“Come on my angel, let’s take your stuff inside. I’m sure your father is going to be so happy you’re home.” She said softly rubbing his back.

One inside the house Yuta’s dad sprung up at the sight of his son and hugged him tightly, “My boy! I didn’t know you were coming! Your sisters went out shopping, but they should be back soon, this is great!” Yuta just continued to cry into his dad’s chest and hugged him tightly. 

“What’s wrong, son? You look like you have been through the works.” He said pulling his son away looking into his face.

Yuta sighed and brought his parents on the couch and told them everything from the moment they heard the news up until the events that happened today.

“I think I just want to go to bed. I was on two flights today and have done nothing but cry.” He said getting up from the couch and walked to his room to sleep.

The second he got changed and in bed he felt the entire day wash over him as he fell asleep.

For the next two weeks Yuta mostly stayed in his room looking at his phone waiting for a text from Sicheng or wondering if he should text him first. They haven’t spoken a word to each other since that day and Yuta was starting to panic, he didn’t know if his grandmother had passed away or if Sicheng was holding it together.

Since the semester was practically over he texted his three roommates separately quickly explaining all that happened, and once he did Johnny told him “to get your ass on Skype right now.”

He pulled his laptop out and immediately dialed Johnny, once he answered he saw Jaehyun and Mark on either side of him on their couch in the living room.

The first thing that was said was Jaehyun, “Yuta… when was the last time you slept? You look like shit.”

For the first time in weeks Yuta laughed, “I can always count on you to make me feel better, Jae.”

Mark cut off their moment, “Are you really in Japan? Like you haven’t talked to him at all?” 

“Yeah… I have no clue what’s going on with him or if anything is happening at all.”

Johnny shook his head, “That’s so fucked up. We all tried texting him but he never answered, we figured that was because he was with you and he didn’t feel like he needed to answer, which we got.”

Yuta sighed, “Well that’s just the way it goes I suppose. I don’t know what else to do.”

Jaehyun spoke up, “What you need to do is take care of yourself. You have done nothing but overwork yourself this semester. For the first time in a year you’re back in Japan and you’re miserable. You need to go out, take your sisters on a sibling date, go play soccer with your dad, and help your mom make me a new sweater because the other one is comfortable as fuck.” Yuta let out a loud laugh at the last part and the other boys joined him.

Jaehyun continued while smiling, “I’m serious, Yuta. This time maybe not be ideal but you need to take care of you now. Go find yourself again, Sicheng will come around. He needs to find himself too right now. Don’t worry about coming home here, you stay in Japan for the summer and you worry about you.” 

Yuta started to tear up at his words and just nodded his head, “I miss you guys so much right now, fuck.”

Johnny looked serious, “I know, but this is good for you. Just worry about yourself for right now, and you let us know when you’re ready. Once you’re ready the three of us will find a way to come see you and we can have a bro night in your house and you can show us around Osaka.”

Mark gasped, “Oh my God yes! Bro night in Japan! Yuta you better get well quick because we’re fucking coming for you.”

Yuta smiled from ear to ear and for the first time he felt a little like him old self again. “Thank you. I love you guys so much, I’ll make sure to get better soon so your ugly asses can come crash in my tiny room and we have no choice but to share my twin bed.”

“If we have to share a bed I call dibs on spooning Yuta, the two of you can suck it.” Jaehyun said loudly and pushed Johnny into Mark.

“God you guys are the worst.” And for the next few hours they just talked about everything and anything. 

Once he hung up he got dressed and grabbed his wallet. 

He saw the sun was just setting and walked into his living room to see his sisters sitting on the couch on their phones.

“Get up uglies. We are going to go on a little evening shopping spree through the town market.”

Momoka laughed, “What? Why?”

“I have been a bad brother lately and want to spend time with you guys. I haven’t seen you in a year and I spent a lot of time just crying in my room. Now go to your room and get dressed or you can go buy your own things.”

The two sisters looked at each other and ran to go get dressed. Once they left they just walked around all over town and stopped at every market store just laughing and walking around. 

He missed Osaka, his sisters, his parents, and just missed not being able to worry about anything.

This was the first night in weeks he didn’t have Sicheng weighing on his mind.

On the other hand, Sicheng was only getting worse. His grandmother died two days after Yuta left and he regretted pushing him away. He was more miserable than ever and his heart felt heavy. His mother was disappointed in him and kept telling him to go make things right.

After helping his mother take care of things after packing up his grandmother’s items he sat his mother on the couch.

“I think I have to go back to New York to apologize to Yuta. What I did to him wasn’t fair. I need to talk to him about other stuff too…” He trailed off looking into his mother’s eyes apologetically. 

“I think you have to go back too. I know how much you took this death to heart but that doesn’t excuse you from being hurtful to Yuta, the boy who stayed by your side through it all.” She cupped her son’s face and kissed his forehead softly. 

“I’m just scared to leave. Will you be okay here taking care of things? It’s not like I have to go back to classes, summer break has started.” 

“I’m sure, Sicheng. Maybe I need some time to process the last few weeks and sort myself out.” She took his hands and kissed the back of them, “You are still so young and full of life, go make sure you live it honestly and happily.”

The next morning Sicheng woke up and picked up his phone for the first time in forever and his heart immediately broke at the zero notifications he has gotten from Yuta. 

Biting the bullet he pressed his boyfriend’s number and called him.

After two rings he heard the call being answered, “Sicheng…?” Yuta whispered not really knowing if he meant to call him.

“Y-yeah it’s me.” He said nervously, “How are you?”

“Um… I’m pretty good, just at home.” He replied and Sicheng could tell Yuta was a nervous wreck.

“I called to just let you know I’m coming home. I have to talk to you.” Sicheng said all in one breath.

“Oh.” Yuta nervously laughed, “I meant home meaning Japan. After that day in China I flew here and haven’t been back to New York since.”

The wind had been knocked out of Sicheng’s lungs and he didn’t know how to respond. “Oh? Okay then, I just need to see you and I think it’s time to talk.”

Yuta hummed for a moment, “Then I’ll come back to New York. I don’t think you coming here would be the best thing right now.” 

Sicheng felt like he had been impaled at the thought of not being welcomed to Yuta’s childhood home. “Y-yeah I guess that’s cool.” He tried to fake laugh to seem okay but Yuta could tell it was just a front. 

“I’ll see you at home then, Yuta.” Sicheng couldn’t even keep his head up, and just leaned forward waiting for Yuta to say something.

“Guess so.” And he hung up. That was the first phone call in two years that didn’t end with an ‘I love you’ and Sicheng’s hands started to shake.

*Four days later*

Both boys were finally in their apartment, the other three boys told Yuta that they just missed them as they all went home for the next week.

“So I guess we can talk alone.” Yuta whispered putting the last of his suitcases away.

Sicheng could only nod and head towards the living room. 

He sat Yuta on the couch and he sat on the coffee table in front of him.

Yuta broke the silence, “So… I assume your grandmother..” 

Before Yuta continued, “Yeah… she did. Just a little after you left she passed away.”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, Sicheng.” Yuta said taking his hand in his and rubbed it.

“I should be the one apologizing, Yuta.” Shakily he took his hand from Yuta’s “I had no right to act the way I did towards you.”

Yuta went to cut him off before Sicheng continued, “My grandmother being ill doesn’t excuse me being an ass. You were trying your best to comfort me. You gave up so much to be there with me and I was ungrateful.”

“Sicheng… it’s okay. You were overwhelmed, and yes that doesn’t excuse what you did, but we all do things we regret. You had a lapse of judgement and I was the easiest person to take it out on, but we’re here. And we are together.”

The younger let a tear fall down his face before taking Yuta’s hand in his. He smiled bitterly, “Babe, there’s something else I have to tell you…” 

Yuta tilted his head to the side, “What? What’s happened?” 

“I love you so much, Yuta. You own every part of my heart, you are the reason why I continue to live every day. You are my sun and I want to be the earth that orbits around you, but I have to be honest…”

The older felt his hands get sweaty, “You’re making me nervous, Sicheng.” 

“Yuta… I cheated on you…” Yuta took a deep breath of air in, “It was with Alex… I am so sorry.”

Yuta stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of Sicheng. “That isn’t possible. You didn’t cheat on me. That is so insane, why would you ever do that? Don’t play games like that.” 

Sicheng stood up and stopped him from pacing anymore. He made them hold eye contact and he could see Yuta’s eyes beginning to water and his bottom lip tremble. 

“Please…” He whispered, “Tell me you didn’t cheat on me.” 

Yuta’s body started to shake before Sicheng just put his head down in shame. 

“Fucking when, Sicheng?!” He suddenly yelled. 

The younger shakily took a step back, “The night my mother called about my grandma… When you went out to tell my professor I wouldn’t be making it to my finals.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I called Alex and he took me out to the cafe and we just talked and talked… Before I knew it we were back at his dorm… we fucked.”

Yuta flinched at the word ‘fucked’ and felt everything around him crackle down.

He didn’t know how else to take his anger out and walked over the wall next to the television and slammed the framed picture their roommates gifted for them on the night of their anniversary party. He continued to walk around the apartment and threw any of the picture frames that had the two of them in it.

Sicheng could do nothing but stand there and let tears fall down his eyes.

“How fucking dare you!” Yuta finally turned to look at the younger. “We were forever! And you gave that up for some little prick in tights?!” 

“We still are forever, Yuta!” Sicheng said his voice getting louder.

Yuta forze in his place, “Oh like hell we are. You get to go around and fuck your little dance friend and you have the nerve to think there is anything left of us?!” Yuta screamed with tears falling down his face. 

“It was just one time!”

“Oh! How lovely! I feel much better now knowing his dick was inside you only once!” Sarcasm and hurt laced Yuta’s voice. 

Sicheng could only watch Yuta as he took a seat on the couch.

After a few moments of silence Yuta looked up at Sicheng and stood up. “What more could you have wanted from me?” 

The younger’s heart broke at the hurt in the other’s voice.

“I … I did everything for you. I dropped my own friends, skipped practices to come see you at the studio, worked two jobs just to come see you in the summer…” Yuta’s voice started to crack and he freely cried.

“I worked my ass off for a month just to have one day free with you and you spent that day getting coffee with Alex. I spent a whole day walking around campus telling your professors you were leaving to go to China, and you spent that day getting fucked by Alex. I flew to China for you a second time to make sure you were okay, and I got fucked over by you that day.” His voice started to raise the more he talked. 

“I’m sorry… I am so fucking sorry.” Sicheng started to sob as well and took a step towards the other crying boy.

He took a step back, “I can’t even look at you without my heart breaking.”

“Yuta… please don’t say that.”

Sicheng watched him take a seat on the couch again. 

No one was supposed to get hurt. No one was supposed to fall out of love. It was meant to last forever, the two of them. 

Sicheng never thought that him and the love of his life would end the way they did. They made a promise to spend all of eternity together and now they wished they never would have met at all.

Yuta sat on the couch in their shared apartment of two years with his head in his knees trying not to sob out loud. 

There was broken glass all around the apartment with only slight remnants of the happier life they lived. 

Sicheng stood over Yuta with his own tears streaming down his face with his fists at his side, not knowing how they ended up here.

“Please, Sicheng… I can’t do this anymore.” Yuta finally looked up, still shaking and tears cascading down his face.

“Yuta, stop. Don’t say that. We have gotten through so much in our time together, we can do this too.” Sicheng pleaded as he got on his knees in front of the older and went to take his hands into his own.

“HOW?!” Yuta yelled standing up on wobbly legs surprising Sicheng who fell backwards onto a pile of glass. He didn’t even feel the glass in his skin as his heart was racing a mile a minute.

Sicheng felt paralyzed at his words and did start to wonder how they could get past this.

“I-I don’t know. But we can. I promise we can make this work.” He pleaded getting off the ground with shards of glass still lodged in the palms of his hand.

“I can’t do that Sicheng. The thought of you touching me and talking to me is making me sick to my stomach.” 

“Everything takes time. We just need time.” He begged starting to cry harder than before. He couldn’t lose the one boy who kept him from going back to China just a week after being in America. He was his first love, they saw each other blossom and grow into the people they are now. A life without Yuta is a life Sicheng wouldn’t want to be in.

“Not this, Sichengie. Not this.” Yuta took a shaky breath.

For the last three years he has done nothing but break down the walls to let the younger in. He swore they were soulmates and could see a future together. He wanted everything with Sicheng. He wanted to get married, have children and raise them here in America and a few times a year they would go to China and Japan to visit their families. All he wanted was a home with Sicheng, but that was crushed the second he was told he was cheated on. Yuta felt as if he was going to have to learn to live all over again.

“What we do need is our own apartment. We’re done, Sicheng. You can start looking for a place in the morning.”

“Yuta please… Let me make this better.” He quickly walked to Yuta and took his hand.

Yuta shook free from his grasp and shook his head. “You can stay with Alex for the time being. You can get your stuff together tonight and be gone in the morning. We are done Sicheng.”

And just like that they weren’t Yuta and Sicheng, the two boys who fell in love despite not even knowing the same language. They went from young lovers to life partners in just the span of three years. 

But now… they would be nothing but a memory of each other. They would be distant strangers just crossing paths trying not to reopen any open wounds from their past. 

They were like the sun and moon, but now they would be fire and ice, they didn’t belong together. 

It would be like having to train yourself all over again to forget the daily habits you have formed. It would take months to get the feeling of the other’s touch off of you. Take months to not see the other every time you walked into a cafe or clothing store. 

It would be hard to laugh or hear anyone else’s laughter, but just like everything, you get over it. 

And now, they had no choice but to try and get over it.


End file.
